In the Beginning…

>I’ve tried two other blogging sites, and after seeing my cousin’s Blogger site, which I liked, I decided this is where I am going to blog!
To be honest… I do have one other blog site where I write of a totally different subject than this one will be… Which I may have to scrap since the subject has kind of dissipated in my life. That chapter is over. 🙂
It was my cousin’s blog that inspired me to write about a challenge that I’ve long struggled with; my low self -esteem. I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this. We live in a world where women are held as such high standards and if we don’t meet it, we feel pretty crappy about ourselves.
I love watching the Biggest Loser, and the transformations are wonderful… But when I see how skinny and buff they are at the Finale, I get a little envious. I would LOVE to have a body like that, and I know it would take a lot of work to accomplish it. Yet… It’s another standard.
I absolutely HATE the Victoria Secret ads on tv. Those women are disgustingly skinny and risqué! 
Oh… But it doesn’t end there. TV shows, competitions (i.e, Miss America), and magazines are always pumping out these pictures of women who are skinny and flawless in beauty.I’m sorry to say, but that’s not what the average woman looks like! We’re all different shapes, and yet, I don’t see anyone (except Dove) embracing and encouraging it. It’s no wonder depression is such a big problem!
Okay… I’ve vented.
Growing up was rough on me, and having that standard around me made it harder. I was the awkward hard of hearing girl who suffered with a bad case of acne through out her teen years and into her college years. Sadly, skin problems are still a challenge for me, but thankfully it’s not as bad as it was then. I was embarrassed about my skin, and it made me ugly. I felt I’d never have a boyfriend, which I didn’t have until my senior year… But that relationship didn’t even last two months! It wasn’t until I met my husband, I had found someone who was willing to look past my outward flaws to see my inner beauty. Yes… I had a horrible dating life, and you can imagine what that did to my self-esteem. I felt like I could never be the woman men would want to be around… All because of what I looked like on the outside.
Isn’t that just sad?
Now, as a Christian, I know that God never makes a mistake with His Creation, including me and you. You would think that would be enough to bolster my self-esteem and everything would be alright, but there are years of scars from the lies I was led to believe, no thanks to the bad guy downstairs! You all know who I’m talking about, right?
I hope, as I make this journey, to share what I discover as I take one day at a time to better myself to build my self-esteem to be what it needs to be as what God intended. I know I can’t do it on my own…. I’m praying that God will be a part of this as well.

To start, I am going to work on finishing some goals for myself:
– Run a 5K in May, in honor of my grandmother who died of Brain Cancer (lots of training involved!).
– Organize my life a little better.
– Try… and I mean TRY to learn Spanish. With being hard of hearing, thats going to be a challenge and a half! I’m not sure how I’m going to do it, but I am hoping to figure out a way to do so.

There are a lot of little things I want to do, but I don’t need to overwhelm myself…. So… Here’s to my start!
(forgive me if my grammar isn’t correct…. My writing skills are a little rusty right now. lol )


About coffeenut79

I am a mother to two CODAs, and if you know what I mean by that, than you would know I am deaf. I am an artist in many ways, and writing is one of the mediums I love working in. View all posts by coffeenut79

One response to “In the Beginning…

  • Mamados

    >I finally saw this but I'm at work on my phone and slow on this keypad thing. I'm there with you on getting angry at the media's idea of what a girl should be. It's depressing. I'll post more after I go home and get some sleep but for now I wanted to let you know you ALWAYS have been beautiful. You had acne but it didn't make you ugly. You were very pretty

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