I dug out the earrings from the box I had hid them in. With a sigh, I knew it was time. I had held on to them for eleven years, and the reasons behind it ranged from not wanting to let go of a piece of that night to hoping that maybe it would spark a long lost memory. At this point, I doubt it will now.
My husband asked what I was going to do with them.
“I’m going to throw them away.”
At first, he felt I should keep them and let them be used for good. I countered with the fact that the earrings bore no real value, despite possible sentimental value. I had bought them from Claire’s on a college budget, and I would rather replace them with earrings that carried more value. We talked about the tragedy of September 11th, and I could see the parallel of what I was going through with rebuilding of the towers. The old towers pieces weren’t kept, but instead changed into other things and swept away to make room for the new towers. The devastation of that day is definitely greater than what I have experienced, and even they made room for a new pair of towers to celebrate life continuing on. On top of that, the new towers are to be better than the old ones. That was exactly what I needed to do; it was time to replace them with something better.
Ironically, my pastor spoke on a message about moving on to better things today, and how the better technology is viewed as better than what it was before. We don’t have outhouses anymore, as we’ve now upgraded to indoor plumbing. We have gone from land line phones to mobile cell phones, and now it’s considered better as we can be contacted anywhere at pretty much anytime. ( I don’t consider it better at times as there are moments when people call me at very inconvenient times. Thank goodness for voicemail!)
After a few moments, I unceremoniously dropped the small studs into the garbage can. There was no choir, angels singing, or some miraculous sign, but I do know that it was just one less step to be done in my journey to recovery and a new BETTER life. Will things be wonderful from now on? I don’t think so. If I know life as it is, it’s bound to get some rough patches here and there. I am sure I might go through moments when I am weak. I’ll just remember that God has placed many things in the world around us to remind us that there are things in life that require a struggle to come out stronger/better.
The caterpillar has to push itself out of it’s cocoon when it has changed into a butterfly. It doesn’t happen quickly, but instead it takes a long time for it to work its way out of the hard shell it lived in while changing; but it’s through that, it becomes strong enough to fly.
My favorite analogy these days is about the formation of the pearl, as I have shared in my last blog.
I had wanted to use the pearl party as a way to throw the earrings with a bang, but the party fell through, so instead we, the whole family, joined with another family for a church picnic. They are good friends of ours, so it made the day even sweeter. We had so much fun, and it was so refreshing for a change. Laughter and fellowship is truly a great way to celebrate life.
God knew, and it was good. I will continue to work on letting go and being thankful that I, and four others of us survived that fateful night. I should also be thankful that the drunk driver also survived as well. He, at least, has time to consider God’s redemption if the opportunity should ever arise for him. I do want him to experience God’s forgiveness and grace as much as I do.