September 16, 2012

Church or No Church-That is the Question

By coffeenut79

It’s 3:30 in the morning and I can’t sleep yet. I’m torn between two choices right now, and I know I need to decide soon what it will be.

What church is right for me?

Do I choose a church that I know has a deaf ministry, or one that has the passion for God that I love and can relate to?
The latter has no deaf ministry or interpreter. I could start something, but a part of me dreads starting all over again, or being disappointed. I have no friends to speak of there, and I had recently left the other church for a lot of ridiculous drama – even though I have some wonderful friends there. I even told them I wasn’t coming back….
It doesn’t help that I am at a crucial point in my life where I need as much support as I can.
My heart pounds at the war in my head.
I’m so tired of it all and have even entertained the idea of forgetting the whole notion of church altogether. But I feel so spiritually vulnerable and weak right now.
Oh, why do I have to be hard of hearing?!
I am hoping that as I write this I can get this torment out of my head…. And go back to praying as I listen to calming music.

About coffeenut79

I am a mother to two CODAs, and if you know what I mean by that, than you would know I am deaf. I am an artist in many ways, and writing is one of the mediums I love working in. View all posts by coffeenut79
This entry was posted on Sunday, September 16th, 2012 at 3:51 am and tagged with , , , , , and posted in Christian Journey. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

3 responses to “Church or No Church-That is the Question”

  • Your bro from another mother
    September 16th, 2012 at 7:53 am

    You are always welcome to come back to glcc. I have pulled out of all things related to the deaf ministry but will still sit in that section and utilize the services of the interpreter. The others are just going to have to deal with the repercussions of losing someone who had ideas and just wanted to help the ministry grow. I love the church and learning to meet others in another connect group and already being made welcome for who I am. Don’t let the drama keep you from something that is more important…. The relationship with God and Christ.

    Reply
  • Your bro from another mother
    September 16th, 2012 at 8:39 am

    P.S. GLCC has a true passion for God, that’s no mistake. that is why I go there.

    Reply
    • coffeenut79
      September 16th, 2012 at 11:38 am

      I’m glad it is the passion that works for you, but as I came to realize this morning, it is not for me. I want the King David kind of passion-Dancing for Him without shame. I know now that GLCC is a place I couldn’t grow the way I need to. I love you all and will continue to pray.

      Reply

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