Tag Archives: jesus

Church or No Church-That is the Question

It’s 3:30 in the morning and I can’t sleep yet. I’m torn between two choices right now, and I know I need to decide soon what it will be.

What church is right for me?

Do I choose a church that I know has a deaf ministry, or one that has the passion for God that I love and can relate to?
The latter has no deaf ministry or interpreter. I could start something, but a part of me dreads starting all over again, or being disappointed. I have no friends to speak of there, and I had recently left the other church for a lot of ridiculous drama – even though I have some wonderful friends there. I even told them I wasn’t coming back….
It doesn’t help that I am at a crucial point in my life where I need as much support as I can.
My heart pounds at the war in my head.
I’m so tired of it all and have even entertained the idea of forgetting the whole notion of church altogether. But I feel so spiritually vulnerable and weak right now.
Oh, why do I have to be hard of hearing?!
I am hoping that as I write this I can get this torment out of my head…. And go back to praying as I listen to calming music.


The Broken Rose

I had had a rough day with dealing with some relationships that had gone haywire, and was feeling of utter loss over the frustration of what had happened. I’m not perfect. I know I made some mistakes, but who doesn’t?

I only know of ONE person who doesn’t. His name is Jesus.

I talked to my brother, my younger brother who is wise beyond his years (feeling a bit “yoda-ish” in saying that… but that’s besides the point), who directed me to a wonderful video on Youtube of a minister by the name of Matt Chandler. The video was titled, “Jesus Wants the Rose”.

I listened to him describe how a rose was passed from person to person, being smelled and touched each time, using it as an analogy for one having sex with different partners.

I could also see it as one who makes mistakes over and over again. Each mistake is like a touch that bruises our petals and bends our stems.

The minister then asks the crowd, “Where’s the rose? I want the rose back.” It was handed to him broken, petals missing, and with bruised petals. He then asked, “Who wants this rose?”

No one in their right mind would want that. It’s beauty was tarnished. You couldn’t call it a rose anymore. A florist would throw that kind of flower away.

“Jesus would!”

Yes, I had made some mistakes. Yes, you have made some mistakes. Yet, Jesus wants us. Broken and bruised, he takes us.

Why would He?

He loves us because we’re His. He created us and values us beyond what we are.

I had to think, “What would He do with a broken rose?” But I then remembered a vital piece of information… He’s the Creator.

He made us, so He knows how we’re made from the inside and out. It’s like how a mechanic knows how he built a car or a machine. If it breaks, he would know how to fix it and make it like new.

I don’t believe that God just takes us to fix us to be back like what we used to be like before were battered and bruised from use. That is too mediocre. God is too big for that. When you think of how incredible this universe is, and you think of Him taking a rose to bring it back to what it was once before, it doesn’t fit who He is. After all, there is Heaven after this mediocre living on earth…

So, I say He would take a broken rose and make it BETTER than it was before.

That’s good news, isn’t it?

To me, after having such a painful ordeal today of mistakes, I can fall back on the grace of knowing He will take my brokenness and make it better. I will constantly pray that I will become a better person as I go through these bruising moments.