Tag Archives: passion

Rather be like King David…

Last night’s mental battle in the decision of what church to go to was ended with some encouraging words from a sister in Christ. My heart longed for the fire from God… And the old church wasn’t going to have it.

I needed to find a place where I could worship Him like David did.

King David rejoiced in the streets of Jerusalem in just his underwear! Talk about pure joy and worship of just wanting to give his all for God. He was in complete ecstasy in knowing the Ark had returned to it’s rightful home. How much more should we be joyful in His gift of everlasting life through His son?

Well, okay, I wouldn’t go out in my underwear. I would be arrested if I did. BUT… I do want to worship Him as much as I could!

Sure… My old church had a good inspirational worship service. There were good songs and some good messages.

But I was hungry for more. I wanted fire. I wanted passion. I didn’t see it where I was before.
It was comfortable and easy, and I was feeling weak. It was almost as if I had become lazy and my spiritual muscles had become lax.

I really do believe God doesn’t want that.

Ephesians talks about putting on the whole armor of God; Moses was told to raise his staff high to lead Israel into victory; King David was given victory over Goliath, and it doesn’t end there. There are countless times that God uses a warrior to make His point.

Sure… those stories are in the Old Testament. But in Revelations 3:14-16 says:

“… These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor not. I wish you were either on or the other! So, because you are lukewarm- neither hot nor cold- I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”

I’m done being comfortable. It’s time for the fire…


Church or No Church-That is the Question

It’s 3:30 in the morning and I can’t sleep yet. I’m torn between two choices right now, and I know I need to decide soon what it will be.

What church is right for me?

Do I choose a church that I know has a deaf ministry, or one that has the passion for God that I love and can relate to?
The latter has no deaf ministry or interpreter. I could start something, but a part of me dreads starting all over again, or being disappointed. I have no friends to speak of there, and I had recently left the other church for a lot of ridiculous drama – even though I have some wonderful friends there. I even told them I wasn’t coming back….
It doesn’t help that I am at a crucial point in my life where I need as much support as I can.
My heart pounds at the war in my head.
I’m so tired of it all and have even entertained the idea of forgetting the whole notion of church altogether. But I feel so spiritually vulnerable and weak right now.
Oh, why do I have to be hard of hearing?!
I am hoping that as I write this I can get this torment out of my head…. And go back to praying as I listen to calming music.